6 Things that I Didn’t “Get” Until I Had Kids

  
Before I had kids, I don’t think that I was insensitive to my friends who did have kids. And I definitely had a lot of friends that had kids, when I didn’t. But there were definitely things that I didn’t understand about their lives and I didn’t “get” as someone who didn’t have kids. Not just to my friends though, but people who had kids in general. I mean really you can’t control your kids? Really you can’t come over or go out because of your kids nap time/bed time? And then I had kids. Hello wake up call, nice to see you.

So if you think your friends or just parents in general are crazy because of some of these (or other) things, just wait til you have kids! Here are the 5 things that I didn’t “get” until I had kids –

  1. Moms that cut off all their hair – real talk … I thought “really, how hard could it be to just put it in a ponytail?” OMG. I had NO idea the issues that arise with hair as a mom. Hair pulling. THE PULLING. ALWAYS from the bottom of my head. Post partum hair loss. Handfuls of hair, daily. Every time I wash my hair I think of shaving my head. I get it now Moms, I get it.
  2. Uncontrollable kids in public – I am now the mom with the “uncontrollable kid” in public. He’s 2 but looks like he’s 5. Barely talks, huge. Gets very frustrated with his inability to communicate, and especially when he can’t do exactly what he wants to do. Melt downs can and do happen when we’re out. And I’m now the one that looks like I have a kid I can’t control in public, and really, I can’t. It’s more like organized chaos. But either way, I GET IT NOW. Seriously. I wanna go hug all the moms I thought couldn’t control their kids before.
  3. Nap Time/Bed Time/ Routine – I didn’t get why friends, family or acquaintances couldn’t do things because it would interrupt nap time or bed time or the kids “routine.” Just bring them with! Just put them to bed late! BOYYYYY do I get this one now. I am Queen Routine. I’m a believer in the routine. I will avoid interruptions to the routine like the plague if I can help it. I do try to be flexible because we have to live our lives, but I generally do so knowing that we will pay the consequences with cranky kids or sleep that will be a little out of whack for a couple of days. But if I can stick to the routine, oh man, I will stick to that routine. I get routines now!
  4. Inability to shower/get dressed/etc – not that I ever saw this in action, but I heard about it … a lot. When you have a baby/kids, it’s so hard to take a shower, or change my clothes, or I don’t wear anything but yoga pants, etc. When I had both babies, I’ll admit, I didn’t think it was super hard to at least get a shower in. Babies sleep a lot … but once babies STOP sleeping a lot. Yup I wouldn’t be able to tell you at most times when the last time I took a shower was. And when I changed my clothes last was probably sometime around then as well. And yes I stay in nursing tanks and PJ/yoga pants or shorts 99.9% of the time. Especially now that I have 2 kids, if by some magical mystical alignment of the stars I get them to both nap at the same time, that time is so sacred and I have so many things I could be doing I have to prioritize and decide if showering is really at the top of that list and it’s usually not. As far as getting dressed, I just don’t see the point if I’m not leaving the house and changing clothes unnecessarily just creates more laundry. Plus, leading into my next point, the clothes I stay in are nursing tanks and yoga pants because I need easy nursing access plus I want to be comfy and because I’m breastfeeding I’m still hanging onto most of my pregnancy weight so those types of clothes are the only things that fit. So yes, I TOTALLY get the shower/clothes thing now.
  5. Messes – Again, not so much amongst my friends but just things I heard generally about messy houses and cars. I didn’t understand how they could become such a mess and how it could be so hard to clean them up. Well, now with my kids in tow in the car, ONE TRIP out to run errands can look like we’ve been living in the car for a week and raccoons were rummaging through our stuff for food. It’s ridiculous. And the house – my gosh – not just the toys but EVERYTHING now ends up on the floor ALWAYS. Like that’s where everything is meant to be, on the floor. I could pick it up 10 times a day and it would still end up back there because that’s where it’s meant to be. So I give up. I pick up at the end of the day just so Dad or I don’t break a foot on a Lego in the middle of the night otherwise I say forget it! The car I will clean after each trip just so it doesn’t get too out of control and because it’s a small space (for now) it’s pretty easy to clean up quickly. But regardless, I GET why messes cannot be contained or controlled with kids.
  6. Shopping Alone = Vacation – I always thought moms were exaggerating when they talked about a solo grocery trip or trip to Target being like a vacation. I’m so sorry moms, I get it now. I had a lovely trip to paradise the other day – Target alone. I found myself staring at the ingredients on a shampoo bottle for over 5 minutes. And then I stood there in awe that I was actually able to read the shampoo bottle and not tend to a crying baby or try to keep my toddler in the stroller or cart. When my husband says I need a break, I tell him this is basically the #1 thing I need, besides a pedicure of course.

Looking back, I don’t think I’d change anything even if I could because there’s no way I would’ve really known any of these things until I had kids myself. But it definitely gives me a new perspective and I roll my eyes at myself sometimes now when I find myself on the other side of the fence talking to my friends who don’t have kids. It gives me a good laugh. And I try to maintain as much balance as I can, as a mom of 2 small kids – as I said I try to stick to the routine but sometimes we go astray, I haven’t cut my hair, but I do rock my mom wardrobe and shower only as much as necessary.

What are some of the things that you didn’t “get” until you became a parent?

Bun in the literal oven (and other pregnancy/post partum surprises)

So when you’re pregnant, a common phrase is that you have a bun in the oven. What no one tells you is that you literally become an oven. I have never been more hot in my life than the last 3 years as I’ve been pregnant or nursing/post partum for all but a month or so of the last 3 years.

My wardrobe (read more about my awesome sexy mom wardrobe here) these last 3 years is exclusively tank tops. I might as well pack the rest of my clothes away and I don’t know why I haven’t. I’m sure my husband would appreciate the closet space it would free up. I very rarely put on anything else, especially when nursing but mostly just because I’m so hot and the thought of putting any more cotton on my skin besides that makes me wanna do the polar plunge.

Almost 9 years ago I moved from Michigan to south Texas which I loved. The weather here was perfect to me. Hot but not humid. Now, even 80 degrees here makes me sweat like a whore in church. I cannot get cool enough most of the time. I nearly bought one of those personal misting fans this last pregnancy.

And being hot, especially post partum/nursing hot, makes me so irrationally frustrated and stabby. I get so pissed off that I feel like I become the hulk and I could hulk smash something. My poor husband I get so crazily angry when I’m hot I’ve lashed out and said some things to him that afterward I’m like wtf did I say that for? And I feel terrible. Thank god for him, he tolerates it and doesn’t get his feelings hurt easily.

I’m so hot even in my house with tank top and shorts on, air conditioning and fans on. My poor kids I got from my mom the inclination to dress my kids how I feel, so they’re probably cold all the time because I’m sweating so I put them in minimal clothing as well.

My insane hotness, and not the appearance kind, is part of the reason I chopped off my long hair last summer, couldn’t stand the pony tail down my back. Now that I’m starting to get a ponytail again you’ll frequently find it clipped up.

I was so surprised at just how hot I get and how it makes me feel. I definitely don’t remember anyone telling me about that.

I also didn’t know that I would lose so much hair, which is tricky because with a baby you have to keep an eye out for hair tourniquets. It’s so easy to see how they can get them now, when you lose a handful of hair a day! I’m so annoyed with having to clean up my hair everywhere. And it is EVERYWHERE.

I also had no idea that breastfeeding could make you NOT LOSE WEIGHT! Everyone says the pounds will fly off because you’re breastfeeding. I’m here to tell ya folks… Not necessarily true!! With both boys now, my weight does not fluctuate more than a pound in either direction. No matter what I eat and what exercise I do. So … Might as well enjoy myself and keep my maternity clothes out!

What are some of the things that no one told you about pregnancy/post partum?

Mom Wardrobe

I’m not the type of person who enjoys clothes shopping. I also don’t like spending a lot of money on articles of clothing so looking at maternity clothes my first pregnancy got a resounding “oh hell no” out of me. ESPECIALLY since they have such a short useful life. Even if you have multiple pregnancies you’re still using them for only months. I can’t bring myself to spend much money on clothing that’s so short lived.

So for my first pregnancy I was determined to not buy them unless I had to. Instead if I did go shopping, I made sure anything I bought was stretchy – stretchy t’s, elastic waist pants or skirts, yoga pants and leggings. And it worked. I never had to buy anything maternity.

Second pregnancy I wasn’t so lucky. End of second trimester, beginning of third my “normal” clothes were leaving my belly exposed. But thanks to a thread on my birth board on Babycenter, someone turned me on to an Old Navy maternity sale. I stocked up on some tanks (my staple as a pregnancy momma in a hot climate), a couple of shirts I could wear to work, and some gaucho pants. Very reasonably priced stuff – all right around $5/piece give or take a little. That’s my kinda prices. It all came in and I loved it all. So next time I saw a good sale there I got some more.

I also still stocked up on “normal” stretchy stuff. Being in a hot climate, I generally live in shorts. But as a mom (and one that runs super hot when pregnant and post partum nursing, not to mention how I look) shorty shorts aren’t gonna be a part of my wardrobe. I actually found some comfy Bermuda type shorts at Walmart, in their Danskin section. They make them shorter and I got a couple pairs of those too anyway, and some longer in Capri length. I stocked up in all colors. And voila – my pregnancy wardrobe for kiddo #2. Mostly tanks, then maternity tanks, and comfy shorts/capris/yoga pants/leggings. Little did I know it would stick with me post partum also!

So after having baby, I’m still fluffy plus I’m nursing so I want to be be comfortable and be able to nurse easily. At home, nursing tanks are my staple. I want to thank my friend Robyn for turning me onto this idea – she wore them to bed. But for days I don’t leave the house I wear them all day also. Days that I must leave or be more presentable, I put on my nursing bra and still a maternity tank over because they are stretchier and more giving for access. With my first child, I also wore similar attire but when it was cold I used cardigans or hoodies to go over my tanks.

Those would be my recommendations for a pregnancy and post partum wardrobe that’ll be most useful!